News and Updates

So we talked last Sunday (2/24/12) about the second part of a two-week mini-series on relationships — What to do when someone hurts you. (Listen again or download here.)As we looked at Matthew 18 we saw the incredibly detailed relationship insights Jesus had and the prescription that Jesus provided for us to follow. And we saw how wise, how revolutionary, how totally counter-cultural Jesus was then — and is today!

We’ve all been hurt at some time. And most of us can even put a person’s name on that painful memory. So what do mature, obedient followers of Jesus do when someone hurts them? Here’s a recap of the five principles we talked about from Jesus’ wisdom in Matthew 18…

Step 1. Initiate peace.

• Matthew 18:15 – If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault…
• Matthew 5:9 – Blessed are the peacemakers (those who work hard for peace), for they will be called children of God.
• Psalm 133:1 – How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!

Step 2. Talk to the person, not about the person.

• Matthew 18:15 – If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you…

About Gossip…
1^st The person who listens to gossip is equally wrong as the person who spreads        the gossip.

2^nd The person who gossips to you will also be the person who gossips about you.

• Luke 17:3 – If you brother sins against you, confront him…
• Matthew 18:15c – …if he listens to you, you have gained (won) your brother.
• 1 Peter 3:9 – Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

Step 3. When necessary, get help.

• Matthew 18:16 – But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’

> Two Key Concepts:
1. Keep the circle as small as possible.

2. The goal is always  to gain back the relationship.

Step 4. Take it to the church.

• Matthew 18:17a – If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church…
• Matthew 18:17b – …and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Q. Why do we pull back on friendship, on relationship, on fellowship?
A. Because we can’t love  people AND affirm what God says is harmful. We can’t love people AND accept what God says is hurtful.

Step 5. Forgive, comfort and re-affirm your love.

• Luke 17:3 – …and if he repents, forgive him.
• Matthew 18:21, 22 – Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

> Key Concept: Because sin is common, forgiveness will always be necessary.

• Ephesians 4:32 – Be kind to each other, tender-hearted, forgiving each other just as God in Christ has forgiven you.
• Colossians 3:13 – Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
• Romans 5:8 – God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

I have already heard stories this week about people who have put these principles to work in their relationships and seen God work through their obedience. Praise God! Keep it up, Saints!

Resting in Him,

Steve

So we talked yesterday about “What to do when you’ve hurt others” (2/17/2003). (Listen again or download here.) Here’s a brief recap to help you remember the four key principles we learned from Psalm 51…

1. I’ll take a look at my part and I’ll take a look in my heart.
Honest self examination is key. Own the role you have played. And examine the inner attitude of your heart. Because “The heart of the matter is always your heart in the matter.”

Matthew 7:3 – Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s  eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

Psalm 51:10 – Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

 2. I have to make a clean confession.
Your humble confession demonstrates to the one you’ve hurt that you “get it” — you understand the damage you’ve done and take responsibility for it — with no excuses, no blaming others.

The 4  gifts  of confession…

1. Humility  – God opposes the proud but He gives grace to the humble.  – James 4:6

2. Freedom – The truth will set you free – John 8:32

3. Forgiveness – If we confess our sins God is faithful and just to forgive us  our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:9

4. Healing – Confess your sins to each other, pray for each other so that  you can be healed. – James 5:16

3. I’ll turn and stay turned.
This is the biblical concept of repentance: turning from habits of sin and selfishness, from arrogance and pride; turning to Jesus, humble surrender to the leading of Jesus in your life. the change should be visible, obvious and permanent.

Luke 3:8 – Jesus said, “Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.”

Joel 2:13 – Turn to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love…

4. I’ll repair, rebuild and repay.
It will take time to repair the mess, heal the hurt, rebuild the broken trust. But with the help of Jesus you can do it. “I will do a little bit, over time.”

Luke 19:8 – I will give half my wealth to the poor. And if I have cheated people on their taxes I will give them back four times as much.

My prayer is that we become an assembly of followers of Jesus who are humble enough to be honest with ourselves and others when we have hurt them. Then do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes to make it right.

Resting in Him,

Steve

 

 

 

How is it that at this season, when everyone is preparing to celebrate the birth of the Prince of Peace, our joy and our peace is repeatedly shattered with news of shootings — a football player killing his girlfriend and then himself, a lone shooter killing shoppers he doesn’t even know at the mall, and now a troubled 20-year old killing his mother and her little students?

Pastor and author Max Lucado expressed my thoughts well when he wrote today…

Dear Jesus,

It’s a good thing you were born at night. This world sure seems dark. I have a good eye for silver linings. But they seem dimmer lately.

These killings, Lord. These children, Lord. Innocence violated. Raw evil demonstrated.

The whole world seems on edge. Trigger-happy. Ticked off. We hear threats of chemical weapons and nuclear bombs. Are we one button-push away from annihilation?

Your world seems a bit darker this Christmas. But you were born in the dark, right? You came at night. The shepherds were nightshift workers. The Wise Men followed a star. Your first cries were heard in the shadows. To see your face, Mary and Joseph needed a candle flame. It was dark. Dark with Herod’s jealousy. Dark with Roman oppression. Dark with poverty. Dark with violence.

Herod went on a rampage, killing babies. Joseph took you and your mom into Egypt. You were an immigrant before you were a Nazarene.

Oh, Lord Jesus, you entered the dark world of your day. Won’t you enter ours? We are weary of bloodshed. We, like the wise men, are looking for a star. We, like the shepherds, are kneeling at a manger.

This Christmas, we ask you, heal us, help us, be born anew in us.

Hopefully,
Your Children

 

May it be so Lord Jesus,
Steve